You can't fix stupid.
Attention!! Your Bullshit Quota Has Been Exceeded!! Further Exposure To Bullshit Will Cause This Device To Reach Critical Mass Resulting In Explosion And Death To The Stupid!!
This started flashing across my Bullshit Meter (conveniently located in my skull near the Lie Detector, just above the PMS Switch), like one of those public service announcements that run across the TV screen, last night. It's still flashing now. I think I'm supposed to upgrade or something. Better yet, I think I'll declare myself a no bullshit zone.
I'm still wondering what it is about me that people think giving me crap is going to end well for them. I'm not joking when I say that my tolerance for bullshit is at an all-time low, verging on non-existant.
My latest experience took place yesterday evening, on the way home from treatment, at the thruway rest stop where we habitually get something to eat on the way home.
I came out of radiaton oncology feeling like something you'd scrape off your shoe. I was trying to hold it together and managed quite well until we got to the rest stop. I headed for the ladies room to have a quick meltdown, which consisted of me sitting on the toilet shaking and crying. It only lasted a few minutes.
Anyway, I came out and went over to the McDonalds counter where Jim was trying to order some food. Someone had interfered while he was placing his order and screwed it up, he politely mentioned it and the girl started arguing with him about it. She was unbelievably rude. He's pretty assertive in a calm "I'm in control" sort of way, so he repeated himself, unable to believe that she was actually arguing with him. She wouldn't shut up, she got really nasty. I said to Jim, "Why is she arguing with you?" and she responded to me, "It's my opinion and I'm entitled to voice it." I didn't like her tone, but before I could respond in kind, Jim told her, "And I have the right to choose where I want to eat. Just cancel my order and give me my money back."
The manager came over and gave him his money back and we went and got pizza instead.
Now, it might seem trivial to you, but bear in mind that I've had to deal with a lot of crap recently and I'm pretty much tapped out in the tolerance department. Sad as it may seem, I really enjoy stopping there on the way home to eat. We sit far away from everyone and there's a nice view out the window, it's just about the only time all day that I get to just chill out. I need that time. But now I'm annoyed at the dumb girl. Feeling like she took it away from me by acting like a little bitch, see?
The problem with behaving like a bitch is that; a) someone is going to come along and be an even bigger bitch, or b) you're going to inadvertantly do it to the wrong person, the one who's having a really bad day.
Unfortunately for her, yesterday I fell under both categories. I make no excuses for myself, it's been a rough week.
I finished my food and we sat for a while talking, then as we were leaving, I went up to the counter and asked for the shift manager. I told him right in front of her I wanted her name because I was going to call corporate and make a formal complaint. He was most apologetic and gave me the information I wanted. Now, I don't actually know if I'm going to call, but I DO know that I ruined her night, just like she ruined my breathing time before I had to go home and be mommy again.
Petty? Probably.
Oh well.
Because, as a former customer service drone, let me tell you this... when you work in customer service your opinion DOESN'T MATTER and you're NOT entitled to voice it. The customer is always right, regardless of whether they're the biggest asshole to ever walk the face of the earth. The only thing you, as a customer service employee, have the right to do is shut the fuck up and smile nicely. You can talk about the asshole behind his back after he's gone.
I think my bullshit meter has been tripped so often lately because I've had to deal with more people than usual. For quite a while now, I've really only had to deal with medical professionals. I'd really forgotten quite how stupid some people can be.
But enough of that crap. Let's talk about insomnia.
It's a crap shoot right now. Sleep is like an eagerly invited guest who doesn't always show up. Oh, dear friend, I miss you.
I have been up since 2:11am. That's when Jim got up to go to the bathroom and woke me up. I lay there for the rest of the night with my mind racing. Of course, thinking about cancer and everything. Every time I tried to relax and medititate myself into oblivion, the thoughts crept back in. They, like melanoma, are insidious.
Fortunately for me, I am now entering the numb stage of sleep deprivation.
I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and get something to help me sleep. I'm just scared of feeling foggy during the day, it makes being a mommy so much harder - of course, sleep deprivation doesn't do much to help either.
If anyone has any good remedies for insomnia, please let me know. I'm hesitant to resort to prescription drugs for this, scared that I'll become addicted. Maybe the answer lies in less than legal measures - I didn't say that out loud did I?
Just kidding.
Maybe today I'll get a nap.
This started flashing across my Bullshit Meter (conveniently located in my skull near the Lie Detector, just above the PMS Switch), like one of those public service announcements that run across the TV screen, last night. It's still flashing now. I think I'm supposed to upgrade or something. Better yet, I think I'll declare myself a no bullshit zone.
I'm still wondering what it is about me that people think giving me crap is going to end well for them. I'm not joking when I say that my tolerance for bullshit is at an all-time low, verging on non-existant.
My latest experience took place yesterday evening, on the way home from treatment, at the thruway rest stop where we habitually get something to eat on the way home.
I came out of radiaton oncology feeling like something you'd scrape off your shoe. I was trying to hold it together and managed quite well until we got to the rest stop. I headed for the ladies room to have a quick meltdown, which consisted of me sitting on the toilet shaking and crying. It only lasted a few minutes.
Anyway, I came out and went over to the McDonalds counter where Jim was trying to order some food. Someone had interfered while he was placing his order and screwed it up, he politely mentioned it and the girl started arguing with him about it. She was unbelievably rude. He's pretty assertive in a calm "I'm in control" sort of way, so he repeated himself, unable to believe that she was actually arguing with him. She wouldn't shut up, she got really nasty. I said to Jim, "Why is she arguing with you?" and she responded to me, "It's my opinion and I'm entitled to voice it." I didn't like her tone, but before I could respond in kind, Jim told her, "And I have the right to choose where I want to eat. Just cancel my order and give me my money back."
The manager came over and gave him his money back and we went and got pizza instead.
Now, it might seem trivial to you, but bear in mind that I've had to deal with a lot of crap recently and I'm pretty much tapped out in the tolerance department. Sad as it may seem, I really enjoy stopping there on the way home to eat. We sit far away from everyone and there's a nice view out the window, it's just about the only time all day that I get to just chill out. I need that time. But now I'm annoyed at the dumb girl. Feeling like she took it away from me by acting like a little bitch, see?
The problem with behaving like a bitch is that; a) someone is going to come along and be an even bigger bitch, or b) you're going to inadvertantly do it to the wrong person, the one who's having a really bad day.
Unfortunately for her, yesterday I fell under both categories. I make no excuses for myself, it's been a rough week.
I finished my food and we sat for a while talking, then as we were leaving, I went up to the counter and asked for the shift manager. I told him right in front of her I wanted her name because I was going to call corporate and make a formal complaint. He was most apologetic and gave me the information I wanted. Now, I don't actually know if I'm going to call, but I DO know that I ruined her night, just like she ruined my breathing time before I had to go home and be mommy again.
Petty? Probably.
Oh well.
Because, as a former customer service drone, let me tell you this... when you work in customer service your opinion DOESN'T MATTER and you're NOT entitled to voice it. The customer is always right, regardless of whether they're the biggest asshole to ever walk the face of the earth. The only thing you, as a customer service employee, have the right to do is shut the fuck up and smile nicely. You can talk about the asshole behind his back after he's gone.
I think my bullshit meter has been tripped so often lately because I've had to deal with more people than usual. For quite a while now, I've really only had to deal with medical professionals. I'd really forgotten quite how stupid some people can be.
But enough of that crap. Let's talk about insomnia.
It's a crap shoot right now. Sleep is like an eagerly invited guest who doesn't always show up. Oh, dear friend, I miss you.
I have been up since 2:11am. That's when Jim got up to go to the bathroom and woke me up. I lay there for the rest of the night with my mind racing. Of course, thinking about cancer and everything. Every time I tried to relax and medititate myself into oblivion, the thoughts crept back in. They, like melanoma, are insidious.
Fortunately for me, I am now entering the numb stage of sleep deprivation.
I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and get something to help me sleep. I'm just scared of feeling foggy during the day, it makes being a mommy so much harder - of course, sleep deprivation doesn't do much to help either.
If anyone has any good remedies for insomnia, please let me know. I'm hesitant to resort to prescription drugs for this, scared that I'll become addicted. Maybe the answer lies in less than legal measures - I didn't say that out loud did I?
Just kidding.
Maybe today I'll get a nap.
posted by Heather at 7:14 AM
1 Comments:
Oh Heather,
I would have snapped at that girl too. Under NORMAL circumstances it would be difficult to deal with such rudeness but you are really trying hard to keep it together in your daily life. The small stupid things can and will push you over the edge sometimes.
When my mind races at night I take Clonazepam, a mild sedative/anti-anxiety. It stops the racing and I'm usually asleep within 1/2 hr. and no grogginess in the morning. Maybe that would do the trick for you? A year or so ago I stopped trying to deep breath the thoughts away and just gave into the fact that my sleep is important to my funtioning and a little pharmaceutical help is ok.
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